LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES          VICTIM'S SAFETY PLAN & CHECKLIST          DATING VIOLENCE

THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN ST. TAMMANY PARISH
24 HOUR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE — CRISIS LINE 1-888-411-1333

You have the right:

  • to be protected from abuse
  • to press criminal charges against your abuser
  • to seek the court's assistance
  • to prevent further abuse
  • to seek assistance from community programs

YOUR LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES

IN AN EMERGENCY DIAL 911

ST. TAMMANY PARISH SHERIFF'S OFFICE
(985) 809-8200

MANDEVILLE CITY POLICE
(985) 626-9711

SLIDELL CITY POLICE
(985) 643-3131

COVINGTON CITY POLICE
(985) 892-8500

PEARL RIVER CITY POLICE
(985) 863-5711

ABITA SPRINGS CITY POLICE
(985) 892-2821

FOLSOM CITY POLICE
(985) 796-3300

SUN CITY POLICE
(985) 886-3113

MADISONVILLE CITY POLICE
(985) 845-3393

ST. TAMMANY PARISH SHERIFF
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DIVISION

Slidell: (985) 726-8000
Covington / Mandeville: (985) 898-2352

ASSISTANT DISTRICT ATTORNEY
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DIVISION
Slidell: (985) 646-4083
Covington: (985) 898-5290 OR (985) 898-2392

SAFE HARBOR
Parish-wide: (985) 626-5740

YWCA
Slidell: (985) 643-9922
Covington/Mandeville: (985) 624-4939


VICTIM'S SAFETY PLAN AND CHECKLIST

  • Pack a suitcase to store with a friend or neighbor. Include a change of clothing for you and your children, toilet articles, and an extra set of keys to house and car.
  • Keep Special items in an easy-to-locate safe place, so that you can take them with you on short notice. These items should include medicine and prescriptions, I.D., extra cash, checkbook, savings account book, credit cards, legal documents and social security cards or numbers, and car keys.
  • In case of emergency, know exactly where you will go and how to get a family member or friend to confidentially help you.
  • Know where you will go and what you will do if you cannot escape the violence. Call your doctor or go to an emergency room if you think you are hurt.
  • Call the police. Physical abuse is a crime, even if you are living with the abuser.
  • You should not clean yourself or your house. Do nothing that might alter or destroy any evidence until it has been witnessed, recorded, and/or preserved by a police officer. Evidence that should be witnessed, recorded and preserved includes blood or blood stains, hair samples, semen samples, grab marks, bruises, scratches, torn clothing, damaged or tipped over furnishings, alcohol containers, pictures of the victim and surroundings, x-rays, doctor's reports, and witness statements by you and anyone else who saw or heard the violence. Review you safest plan as often as possible in order to plan the safety way to leave your batterer.
Your Safety and Emotional Health
  • If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
  • If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
  • Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
  • Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger.
  • Decide who you can talk to freely and openly to give you the support you need.
  • Plan to attend a women's or victims' support group for at least 2 weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.
Safety During and Explosive Incident
  • If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in the bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
  • Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which door, window, elevator or stairwell would be best.
  • Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
  • Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
  • Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
  • Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to.)
  • Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.

Always remember - YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIFE FREE FROM THREAT OR VIOLENCE.

CHECKLIST

What you need to take when you leave

________ Driver's License / I.D. 
________ Children's Birth Certificates 
________ Money 
________ Lease, Rental Agreement, House Deed 
________ Bank Books 
________ Insurance Papers 
________ House and Car Keys 
________ Medications / Medical Records 
________ Address Book 
________ Social Security Card 
________ Welfare / Medical Cards 
________ School Records 
________ Work Permits 
________ Green Card / Passport 
________ Divorce Papers / Marriage License 


DATING VIOLENCE

Dating Rights:

You have the right to...

  • Be treated with respect and dignity
  • Act one way with one person, and a different way with someone else
  • Pay my own way
  • Change my mind
  • Keep my friends
  • Say no, to anything
  • Break up, fall out of love, or leave a relationship
  • Not be abused, physically, emotionally, verbally, or sexually
  • To be myself and not who someone else wants me to be 

Battering (abuse) tends to escalate over time, leading, in some instances, to homicide/suicide. FBI, 1979


Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

One in three women who are killed in the United States are killed by their boyfriend or husband. Barrie Levy - In Love And In Danger

PLEASE DO NOT FEEL AFRAID, ASHAMED OR GUILTY TO RECEIVE MEDICAL OR EMOTIONAL ASSISTANCE. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED! 

WARNING SIGNS

Verbal Assaults
Comments or jokes that make you feel bad

Isolation
Making you feel guilty for spending time with others

ARE YOU...

Sometimes frightened by your partner's behavior?
Afraid to disagree with your partner?
Apologizing for your partner's behavior? (even when you have been treated badly)
Verbally assaulted and put down on by your partner?
Avoiding your friends or family because of how your partner will act?
Afraid of breaking up with your partner because you fear being hurt?
Forced to have sex even when you don't want to or are uncomfortable?

HAVE YOU...

UNCONTROLLABLE ANGER 
Be careful of those that express anger inappropriately

LOW SELF-ESTEEM 
"I can't live without you" , "you are the only person that understands me"

ALCOHOL/DRUG USE 
Your partner may try to use this as an excuse for the abuse

EXTREME JEALOUSY 
Needing to know your every move, making you carry a beeper

CONTROLLING 
Making all the decisions, such as what you wear, eat or ignoring your comments

UNPREDICTABLE BEHAVIOR
Nice one minute and fly into a rage the next 

One in four, or 28% of high school and college students surveyed said they had experienced violence in a dating relationship. Barrie Levy - In Love And In Danger


For Victims of Dating Violence

The Abuse is NOT your fault 

You do not deserve to be abused 

You CANNOT change someone who is abusive 

Over time, the abuse ALWAYS gets worse 

Make a SAFETY Plan to follow when the abuse happens again

If violence occurs once in a dating relationship, it is likely to occur again. Barrie Levy- Dating Violence: Young Women In Danger 

Staying in the relationship, getting married, or having children will NOT stop the abuse

Been hurt, shoved, choked, grabbed, thrown down, or had things thrown at you?

Been criticized or embarrassed in front of others?

If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, it is time to check your relationships.